time to go.
so pack up, AND JUST FUCKING LEAVE ALR.

MINDFUCKER.

:D

still fly

been reading a few air stewardesses' blogs. mostly the sq girls. very very interesting places they went to. hmm, i see myself doing this after i graduate. i just wish my dad's a little supportive over this because this is what i really want to do. hope he'll soften up by the time i grad.

i accidentally signed up for some AIA insurance shit. SHIT! i'm too young to be burdened by this. SRSLY. i think i'll prolly take up some insurance plan WHEN I WORK. cb i better cancel it tmr. told ya im gullible like mad.

tmr i have to go dentist. alone.
sian not.

anyways i miss VEE.

i look forward to nothing this hols. srsly i have SUPP PAPERS ENOUGH TO KILL ZE MOOD.
but i miss alot of things, going for rides on XH's car to weird places, staying up damn late on ze phone with VEE, dancefloors(haha!) loud music lalala, watching movies all those shitz. surprisingly i kinda miss working. but is ok, will be working next week. :) i told raudah i wanted more shifts, but now everyone hols, so competing for shifts. we'll see. i wanna go all out this hols for work. i wanna head down to town, miss hanging out there. okay wait i think i miss everything. i dont know why but it feels as if i'm deprived of those things for like 5 yrs or smth. see what 5 papers can do to you?

but all those thoughts stashed away cos of fucking supp papers.
and currently still worried over the fucking AIA shit i better sms her tmrrrrrrrrrr

fifteen

im SO not confident for mkt paper. simply cause i havent even touched the book yet. goodness! i better start soon. i have 15 fucking chapters to chiong. but i hope my brains dont fail me now. i usually can just read through and rmb bits of it. please dont fail me now, PLEASE

15 is a big number ya know

that aside, i think we're not progressing. stagnant mad, i should say.

15 chapters here i come (!!)

sad shit

i feel fucking sad now cos of my papers. i feel fucking hopeless, swear. i've no fuckng interest in my subjects AT ALL and im failing them cos i don't wanna study them, dont put in extra effort. i know the interest thing is like a fucking excuse but i just cant seem to make myself focus. i'm copying BA notes and some of em are missing and i just feel like giving up and changing to another course altogetherrrr

im not kidding lah cb i rly sad okay
i rly feel like giving up now

help?

i, i'll wait.

buck passing
OVER CONFORMING
stalling
playing dumb
depersonalizing
stretching

pretty much describe someone i knew

ok i kid i am actually mugging for ob just that i am taking a teeny weeny break for a little while before i continue againz

okay i received another surprise call again today but i wasnt feeling damn happyfuck or anything, just a lil excitedzxz. he had a lil flu going on, call more call more kay hahahahah

ok i better get back

btw i waxed my facial hair its very fast and pain for a second
eh i wanna try brazilian hehehe

LLLL

love is a losing battle

except for when i love my family and V and some friends

hold up

"...pleased with myself ‘cuz instead of having love thrown back in my face ‘cuz they’re just cold & cruel like that, i made someone else’s day. someone who mattered so much more."

at the end, this is what we should all be doing instead of thinking of what-ifs and why-nots. to give a damn about someone who actually gives a damn about you. not someone who sees through you. i ought to start lolz

:)

hahaha i knew the whole text/call was temporary

go find ah,
FIND ONLY
:p

hahahahah

just do it

I SWEAR MKT NOTES ARE SUCH A BITCH

i'll prolly spend the next hour copying the book to bits
i cant wait for 27th
no paper on that day
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D

rushed.

the house is so quiet except for the sound of my fan whirrring and me sneezing like an elefant, oh and also the occasional sound of alarms. i have half the mind to to text you now cos i know you'd be awake. hahahah but cancel that out, it'll just make me look frikky.

i only had three hours of unsatisfying sleep. you know those kinds where you know you're sleeping but somehow doesnt even feel like you've slept a wink. and i woke up at 6.30am when my mum was leaving for work. the door makes such a racket.

i feel so uneasy and very worried for my main exam, am not alone though most of my classmates are still not up to the point of even flipping through the texts. but they have the basic foundation. me i still gotta work on alot of stuff. i hope i'd pass my mkt ba ob and macro. i just want only ONE supp which is stats.

i think i'll finish macro today then continue with stats. i'll shower at 8 hopefully am feeling better by then

god you've no idea how much i loathe exams

ring ring heh

i got a call !!
from you know who heh

been feeling very very good these past few days :P

roast ham.

nvr have too much hope in yourself lest it all comes down back on you like waves crashing on rocks

its hard to put out the flame once you get it going
equally hard to get it burning


whats wrongggggggg
:(


and im SO roasted for the papers

sekretz

i like my heels i like my top from mphosis frikkin happy heeheehee and i have a deeeeeeep dark sekret cannot tell any soul hahahah

i'm suppose to study macro

and i'm wondering where this is leading to, cant wait to find out though i might probably end up disappointed but i'll take my chances :D

transparent eyes

today i went to town and bought macaroons with everyone else for my mum and went back home to nap a little and then send my sister off to the airport for her flight to kota kinabalu in sabah, msia. she left about rm1k at home cos her husband fergot to pack it. -.- nvm, she'll be going to msia again within these few months. well she did tell me that she, her husband, and possibly the sister and i might be going to bangkok since there's free accomodation. will GLADLY follow for the much needed vacay. :D she said it'll be soon. how soon we dont know

CROSS FINGER IT DOESNT CLASH WITH SCHOOL SL STUFF =X
most likely not eh.

and i need to go kl this june meaning i gotta give some lessons a miss. might have to give misses for bkk trip too? HOW EXCITINGZZZ

anyways i think i give up on the love issue altgt or trying to find a rebound for that matter, its simply aint working out for me

sighs.
true love waits.
no i found it and lost it
i will never get it back
cos this phenomenon occurs only ONCE in life

one time was all i had and you ruined it, thanks alot a d a m

syn

im in for synergy leader
lets hope me dont meet bishes

and lets hope i can have fun lets hope hope hope somemore cos life's all about hoping
-.-


okay me having bad thoughts over it
cross it out!

least now i'll have my cca points covered by a bit. finito.
i'll prolly attempt to join bsc next sem.
:D

i wanna be your last first kiss

it all comes back to you.
everything i do.
all to you.

are you glad?
was it all in your plans to destroy what we built for so long?
was it worth my effort tryin to keep everything together, then to see everything crash down right in front of my eyes?

TO NOT BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT
TO FEEL THE PAIN AND EMBRACE IT JUST FOR YOU
how it feels like as if i've had a massive heart attack.

and between fighting to live again, and not being able to breathe freely like before. i dont know where i stand anymore.

time and time again i'm caught in my contradictions. how i wanna forget you, though the heart still holds a place for you, to come back home. of momentary relapse, and momentary happiness.

momentary.

CDG srsly killing themselves over there when they shipped play shirts to singapore along with the rest of the lj collection specially for sg.

but they have nice stuff over at the OTHER part of the world.
-.-

so now cdg in sg = poseur.

ok i think i'll go find uniqlo

as my colours fade

i cant find my smile.

oh how i tried

I TELL YOU THE PAVILLION CLUB IS LIKE SAI WORSE THAN LAO SAI CB ITS NOT A EVEN A CLUB TO BEGIN WITH JUST FUCKING EMPTY SPACE. the air was also stale and i HAD TO DEPEND ON MY NATURAL HIGH TO GET ME GOING. lol. the best part abt being a cheap thrill, i can set my high mode anytime i want. anw, while searching for location of pavillion just now, i realise that ANBERLIN IS FUCKING COMING TO SINGAPORE gergerxz is bery exciteszxzx worxzx. will purchase tickets soon with wongz! 3rd june! oh and went home with xi hong and co. best part abt is that we got sent home FOC plus fucking fast. the ride was very thrilling me likez.

anyways, me better hit da sack cos got psycho test as well as town with dil, and also lots of shirtz to dyedye. buaizzz

(my feet stinks ttc)

i need you so much closer

\m/
yeah 1/40 and thats like 10% of coursework
stats going down da drain yo

yesterday, i had to say was one of my worst nights. mainly cos i felt like quitting school so badly so that mum and dad need not worry so much over my school fees, school books and school expenses. i felt like a shitbag right there. cos i was slacking in my studies and not doing anything to salvage it. i cried a little wishing i could hear your voice again, singing me some lullaby like you always do when i'm stressed out over this kinda issues. wishing you were the one to tell me it was gonna be okay that i dont need to quit school and that i was gonna succeed, in life. but yesterday night, i was all alone. i miss you, really do.

but well i manage to pull myself together cos i knew i couldnt fall down and give up. not so easily. and this whole weekend is damn fucked. i'm suppose to go town with aidil, but he's got some stupid cds test which starts at 3 while i end at two. i thought at least we could hit town earlier, like after i end test and then go back earlier, cos i need to like go to RM's CC to catch my sister's bro in law doing some traditional music. and that starts at 8 so there's like NO way i can catch it unless of course i go for the midnight movie and bring aidil along OR midnight and meet aidil later. which is a possibility. shall ask.

ok so its friday now right so tonight there's this club shit over at maxpavillion. well im not sure if it'll turn out so good. plus UA parties ALWAYS makes me feel like n00bshitzxz.

rahhh life's so busy and i decided not to quit cbtl cos its recession now and no one in the right mind will wanna start hiring. so yeah. me is gonna stay at cbtl. PLUS hols coming up, so i can work then.

off to bed. ta

gave you everything to die with a smile.

tick tock.

ok am at work now. tuesday's pretty empty at the airport. speaking of which I totally missed my shanghai trip briefing. cb have been missing a lot of stuff lately. and I got so much things to do. since Hairul posted my tiedyes online, been entertaining few queries and got two pending dye jobs to complete. and meet up on saturday. k was thinking if aidil would bail out on me this weekend. if he does I'll have to hit town alone. ok continue later. slam's up.

alright im back at home and updating from laptop is def way easier. anyways its very refreshing to update here because i can almost have the freedom of speech and not have anyone read it, well maybe except for wong. there's this UA party this friday and am contemplating attending it because i reaalllly need a breather, been feeling so worn out down and out these few days. not helping when wong is in the same gloomy gloomy mood. though in the end we tend to laugh at ourselves. i have a lot of things to do tmr. and will have to wake up early, k me gonna rest nowz buaizzz

CB I MISSED MY FUCKING PSYCHO TEST
LIKE FUCK
DIE LIAO LOR

detoxification

okay me gonna post here cos i like wanna keep my life from prying eyes. especially those i dont particularly like. ytd's events was enough to set me off. i went to sleep pretty pissed off. hairul said gingerly he couldnt help me. told me to get a grip. I'LL GET A FUCKING GRIP IF I WANT TO. damn it, i didnt even ask for your help in the first place. you thank your lucky stars i didnt lose it and type mean shit to you ytd night. well i got several issues ive been wanting to post about but didnt manage to due to searchfarah being made public. hope no one finds this out. but there are possibilities.

anyways i am contemplating cutting holes on my cheap mondays but cb i kinda worked hard for it and makes me kinda heart pain. i kinda thank god its a light colour and not those common colours. ah i should just sell off -.-

i'm gonna go on detox diet. for one month. please support.